Personal Responsibility, blame, and gratitude
My Midweek thoughts on philosophy and learning
Hello everyone, and welcome to my midweek thoughts.
Each week I’ll be sending out an email like this with some philosophy, and some learning strategies. I hope they are helpful.
Today’s piece of philosophy is on reconciling the idea of radical personal responsibility with avoiding self-blame and embracing gratitude. Radical responsibility is a philosophy that holds us responsible for dealing with anything that happens in our lives. When tragedy strikes us, we are responsible for picking up the pieces, no matter the cause of the disaster. The trouble is that this is very close to the idea of blaming oneself for everything that goes wrong in our lives. There is a big difference between recognising that an illness we caught or the tragic death of a family member is our responsibility to deal with in our personal lives, and blaming ourselves for these events having occurred. The first of these lights the road to a practical way forward, and the second is needless self-flagellation.
And where must we put gratitude in all of this? Just like we are not to blame for everything that goes wrong in our lives, we are also not the cause of all our success. Our circumstances, our friends, our family, and much more all likely play a huge role in our accomplishments. This fact inspires gratitude, which is a wonderful attitude for happiness. It binds us together with the people around us, and makes the world seem like a less terrifying place. But how do we reconcile this with the idea that we are solely responsible for our lives?
This is where I think the idea of “duties” and “permissible actions” can come in. A duty is something we have to do, either because it is “right” or just because it is inevitable. A permissible action is something that we are allowed to do, but not forced to do. We can view our radical responsibility for our lives as analogous to a duty because it just falls in our lap - no one else can take responsibility for how we live our lives or respond to situations. We can then view others helping us as part of their “permissible actions”. They did not necessarily have a duty to do so, but they did, and that was lovely! They essentially did some of the work we would have had to do ourselves if we wanted to achieve the same outcome. So if we achieved a certain position at work, we would have had to push ourselves far harder without the support of our friends and family. In effect, the help of other people alleviates the burden of having to do everything ourselves. Since they did not have to do this, it is a bonus that they did, and that can inspire gratitude.
I hope that this can reconcile these three attitudes: radical responsibility, blame, and gratitude, in a way that allows us to take responsibility for ourselves, without blaming ourselves for everything that goes wrong, and while maintaining a healthy attitude of gratitude towards others. But let me know what you think here! This is just a scratch attempt based on what I’ve been thinking over the last day-or-so, and I am sure there are more sophisticated ways to do it.
My learning tip for the day is the Sleepy Student. This is best used when you are studying something you are finding conceptually difficult, like some hard maths or particularly mind-boggling philosophy. The tip is to read it just before bed, and then revisit it in the morning. While you are asleep your mind will have the chance to play with the information, and when you wake up you will almost certainly have a better idea of what is going on.
Hope you enjoyed this email, and I’ve got a video out later today on the work of Ryan Holiday, so stick around for that.
All the best,
Joe